Guest Post: Transparency at Midlife– Let’s Have the 2nd Talk About Menopause

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A guest post by Poise Menopause Blogger Lori Jo Vest:

Once you start talking about menopause, you find out all kinds of interesting things that no one told you before.

A few years back, one of my close girlfriends shared how surprised she was that the beginning of perimenopause for her meant MORE flow and MORE periods, not less, as she would have expected.

Another friend shared that she had hot flashes whenever she got anxious and they caused her face and ears to turn bright red. It usually happened in work situations and it was completely uncontrollable.

A third friend suffered from constant headaches, causing her to miss work and her favorite activities for weeks at a time.

And yet another shared that whenever she laughed or sneezed, her bladder leaked.

Personally, I tell everyone “I’m so transparent you can see right through me.”

I tell people all kinds of details that others might keep to themselves. Most thoughts go straight from my brain to my mouth – no pauses and no filters. (Fortunately, my husband appreciates it and says it makes him happy that he never has to wonder what I’m thinking.)

That may be one of the reasons I feel so fortunate to be blogging for the new Poise website and the 2nd Talk campaign. (First, we talked about puberty. Now it’s time to talk about menopause. Hence, the “2nd Talk”.)

The 2nd Talk was initiated to start an open dialogue about a topic that has been off-limits to generations of women before us. We worry that there’s something wrong with us. We worry what men will think. We don’t want people to see us as “old” so we don’t talk about the crazy new things that are happening with our bodies.

However, the more we talk about it, the more comfortable we’ll get taking care of ourselves during this next stage of life. And to help us with that self-care, Poise has developed a new line of products designed for use during menopause.

There’s a feminine wash, panty fresheners, a roll-on cooling gel, cooling towelettes and a personal lubricant – all designed to help us fabulous menopausal women feel more confident and in control.

Learn more about the 2nd Talk and the new Poise products at www.The2ndTalk.com. (Check it out here.) You can watch videos and read stories from real women sharing their experiences. We’ve brought together a select group of experts in nutrition, aging, intimacy, fitness and menopause to provide valuable articles and answer your questions. And we’ve got two bloggers – Marilyn Suttle and me – to keep the dialog flowing.

Let’s change the conversation about menopause. The more we talk, the more we’ll know. And the more we know, the more we can share with other women who are following in our footsteps.

Lori Jo Vest lives a crazy full life, like most 40+ women. A customer service and sales expert, social media fanatic, best-selling author, overachieving wife and mom to a teenager, Lori gets energy from her close relationships with her numerous girlfriends.

Those friends have become somewhat of an informal research group for changes women in their 40s through 60s experience – like hot flashes and erratic periods – that Lori found herself going through as she hit her late 40s. She’s always enjoyed sharing what she’s learned in the business realm. Now she’s discovered how her experiences can help women who are also in this transitional phase.

Me:  I met Lori Jo Vest at the Bloomer Party at BlogHer.  She’s very real and lots of fun. I’m glad she’ll be blogging for Poise and glad to introduce her to all of you.

Poise is offering us a way COOL giveaway. Watch for it in a week or so!

14 responses »

  1. Thanks for an interesting post! Friends can be a great “support group” to get you through the uncertain parts of life. I wouldn’t trade mine for the world!

  2. So true. I don’t know why – I’m a big researcher – but when it comes to menopause, I have been totally taken by surprise. And there’s the whole “I’m not sure I knew I was done having babies here!” thing … sigh.

  3. Great article, Lori! I’m almost to the other side of menopause now, and It’s been quite the ride. And not all bad, as many women under 50 may think that it’s going to be. Yes, there are all the symptoms that we all go through in differing degrees, but there is also the up side. No more periods, no pregnancy worries, and also some mental and personality changes. I’m actually a much calmer person now. I have much more time to myself because the kids are gone and because I now MAKE the time. My inhibitions are less, I say NO much easier, I voice my opinion whether wanted or not, I’m much happier and satisfied with who and how I am. There’s also a new found creativity. Part of that due to more time. So hang in there 40 somethings. It really is a very good time of life if you keep your health and keep a good attitude!
    As you can tell, I’m very passionate about Women Over 50!

  4. I am so happy that it is all over…I hated those HOT Flashes, waking up in a pool of blood, the flushing and all the other unpleasant experiences of menopause. Not having cramps, is total freedom. I feel better than I did at 20!

  5. Don’t know what I would do without my friends. We learn so much from each other and mostly that we are not going crazy with all of these crazy menopausal symptoms. This is a great resource and thank you for sharing.

  6. My kids say I too am too open about my life, etc. They can’t believe we all talk about such things as periods, menopause, etc. I just laugh at them and tell them how lucky I am to have so many friends to share my life with and who will listen to me and give me constructive suggestions. Luckily menopause is over for me and wasn’t too bad to get through really. But I think it was made easier by knowing that what was happening to me was normal for that time of our lives–thanks to friends and the internet.

  7. Lori, Thanks so much for this great post. I love the 2nd Talk site and look forward to keeping tabs on your thoughts and insights.

  8. Thank you, Barbara! Gail – it’s funny that your kids think you’re too open. I’m writing all about my personal business for Poise! I figure if it helps other women, I might as well be open and honest about it. I’ve gained so much from my girlfriends who were open and honest with me.

  9. Not everyone experiences heavier or more frequent periods. Sugar can also increase hot flashes,and soy products help with those. I would like to hear more about help with urinary urgency. Thanks

  10. Hi Syracuse –

    So true. Menopause is a completely different experience for every woman and there are SO many options for treatment and symptom relief.

    If you’d like to know more about urgency, we’ve got an entire section of our site that’s related to LBL (light bladder leakage) and urinary urgency is a big part of that. You can check it out here:

    http://www.poise.com/experts-and-education/about-lbl

    Marilyn Suttle, who works on the LBL side, has a ton of great interviews, and even podcasts, with experts on urinary health and how to get relief.

    Thank for chiming in!

    Lori

  11. Pingback: Hot Flashes! A Video and a Poise Giveaway « Friend For The Ride

  12. My biggest worry has been going through meopause because I have Epilepsy and I’m not seizure controlled. I know someone that is going through it know and I never new she had Epilepsy until she stararted menopause. She kept her Epilepsy a secret.

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