Guest Post: To Be or Not To Be–Grey Hair, That Is

A guest post by my friend Gail Crane:

When I was in high school, my friends always commented on the grey hairs I already had.  Not many, but just enough for people to notice.

In my early 30’s, my Mom commented that I needed to dye my hair as I had too much grey for someone my age.

So I began the every 5 week task of dying my hair.

At first I had it done by my hairdresser when I would get my hair cut, but finally I decided it was too expensive and my stylist told me how to do it myself.

So for 30 years I’ve covered up the increasingly grey, or rather, white hair on my head.  At first I colored all my hair at 5 weeks.

Then as I got whiter and whiter, I had to also put color on at 2 ½ weeks–but only on my part, around my face and at my neck.  Otherwise I started looking like a skunk!

I have played with different colors.  My original hair color was dark brown.  I’ve been dark brown, light brown, reddish brown, and that brassy blondish brown that happens from putting color on your whole head each time instead of just the roots.  Now I mix two together to get the color I want.

It really doesn’t take that long to color my hair, but every time, I dread the process:

Covering up the counter top,  spreading towels on the floor, and putting on old clothes with a towel pinned around my neck to keep any color drips off of my clothes, skin and especially the floor.

No matter how hard I try though, I still seem to drip some of the mixture (which starts out white so you can’t see it) onto something.  Then voila!  You have a black spot on your floor which is unable to be removed.

We’re waiting until I finally decide to go grey to get new flooring in our bathroom.  No reason to do it yet.

I often toy with going grey. I see many women with beautiful white hair and wonder how I would look.

My sister, who used the same color as I did for years, said she was going to stop coloring her hair when she retired.  And she did, going through looking like a skunk to get to her pure white hair.  She likes it except for the pink scalp that shows now.

Sometimes when I start seeing those white roots appear, I think it would be nice to not have to bother with the messy coloring process.

Sometimes I wish I had never started coloring my hair in the first place.

But for some reason, I just am not ready to be grey.  Will it make me look old?  Make me feel older?

I don’t think I’m ready to go there yet.

Maybe, just maybe, when I retire in four years.

But maybe not!

Gail Crane is a long time friend of  mine. She lives in Hillsborough, NC with her husband Joe and her two cats.  She says she’s a little more vain than she wishes she were, but even though she admits to being officially old, she’s just not ready to look it!  Her two grown children don’t want her to go there yet either.

Decided to go grey?  I’d love a post about your decision. Shoot me an email!  Thanks!

White Lace and Promises: The Hunt Is Over!

Five cities.

Ten stores

And about sixty dresses.

But there was one Laura just kept thinking about.

She first tried it on in Atlanta, where she lived for the summer.  A store in Denver carries the dress, so she tried it on again while vacationing there.

Once settled back in Durham for the fall, she arranged for a loaner to be sent to a store about two hours away, one of only two stores in North Carolina to carry this particular designer.

Third time’s a charm, and if she liked it, this would be THE DRESS.

She stood in front of me, a cloud of white.

Beautiful!

I gave it my mother of the bride major thumbs up.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“I guess this is it,” she said, spreading her hands over the skirt. “This is the dress.”

But…

My daughter is a shopper’s shopper.

She gazed around the room.

This store stocked dresses she hadn’t seen in any other wedding store.

“I’d like to try on just a few more,” she said to the saleswoman.

The woman returned with a fluff of dresses.

But then the 26 -year-old shopper’s shopper shook her head.  ”I changed my mind.”

“So you don’t want to try these?” the woman asked.

“I don’t want to get confused. I love this dress.”

Laura turned to me.  ”Do  you think I should try them on?”

If she tried on more dresses, the hunt wouldn’t be over, yet.

Sitting in the chair and watching your daughter model wedding dresses is about as fun as it gets.

You don’t have to stuff yourself into any crazy corsets. Instead you get to live the experience through a younger version, sort of, of yourself, with better skin and body and teeth and hair and who knows what else.

I took in a small breath.

My last child to be married.

My last chance to give a motherly opinion on matters of tulle and lace.

My last opportunity to comment on how the bosoms look with the neckline or the flow of the skirt or the length of the train.

The dress is gorgeous.

“No,” I said. “Get this one.”

And so the hunt, is, sigh, over.

Dress details to come after the June, 2013 wedding. The groom-to-be doesn’t spend much time on menopause blogs, but there’s no sense taking any chances.

Guest Post: Shopping with Mom

A guest post by my daughter Laura:

When I was a little girl, my mom always took my sister and me shopping on teacher workdays. She’d tell us we had to get up early, so that we could be there shortly after the mall opened.  It was those trips that sparked my love for shopping (and my love for samples of Chinese chicken in the food court).

These days, it’s not as fun to go shopping.  Money is always tight, and I have to actually work on teacher workdays.  But when I do get a chance to go to the mall with my mom, we’ve starting focusing our efforts on her wardrobe: operation maximize fashion, minimize frump (at her request.)

At first, she was resistant, “I’ll never look good in that; my friends will say that’s too young for me; I can’t do heels.”

But with a little pushing and a few forced trips to the dressing room, she’s been quite surprised at how good she looks in some of our finds: a teal pleated dress with a coral-colored patent belt, a flowy peasant blouse with dragonflies, and, yesterday, these metallic mini wedges:

Pretty cute, right?

I keep telling my mom  not to worry so much what other people think,especially about wearing something that to her, feels too young.  If you feel good wearing something, then you probably look good too!

And the best part is, if mom finds even just one thing to spice up her wardrobe, she’ll take me to lunch at Panera.

Laura Younger is a psychologist for the Durham County Schools. Her fiance, Matt Allen, is in the MBA program at Duke’s Fuqua School of Business. A June wedding is planned, meaning Laura will soon be at my side as we shop for my MOB dress!  She blogs at Taking Back My Twenties.com

Mother Disclaimer:  I will add that Laura usually receives  at least a small addition to her wardrobe as well as lunch. I will also add that daughter Kath is a good shopping buddy too; she’s not around as much since she lives in Virginia.

White Dresses, One, Two, Three

We’re thinking white dresses at our house!

This was the first white dress daughter Laura wore.  A christening gown, first donned by either my grandmother or her twin sister.

The white bunny suit for Halloween doesn’t count as a dress, so next was the Junior Marshall dress.  As a prize for good grades, Mom didn’t grump over the price of this Ann Taylor number.

But now Laura is on a quest for the WHITE DRESS OF WHITE DRESSES:  her wedding dress.

A clothes person since she could crawl, she has the ring on her finger and the date has been set. Time to do some real shopping!

I began thinking:  Which of the three white dresses is my motherly favorite?

The christening gown represents tradition and faith and family.

The white marshall dress represents scholarship and hard work and mall shopping trips with mom.

The wedding dress represents love and future and more family. Laura first swooned over Matt when he was a soccer player at Davidson College.  Seven years later, the wedding wagon is rolling along.

I can’t decide which of Laura’s white dresses is my favorite, but there’s just something about a white dress…

What about you?  What are the favorite white dresses in your life?