Tag Archives: Menopause Symptoms

Cancelled! You Heard it Here!

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Cancelled

 

News flash!

Menopause is cancelled.

You heard if first on Friend for the Ride.

All those symptoms.

Gone.

I got it straight from a Menopause Fairy.

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And she got it directly from the Menopause Queen.

So toss your menopausal woes to the April winds!

The bad news is you will now be having your period for the rest of your life.

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But your skin will glow,

Your bones won’t creak,

And you’ll sleep like you are sixteen.

Yep.

Menopause is

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No fooling!

I think, in some ways, I’m going to miss menopause.

What about you?

Encountering the Seven Dwarves of Menopause

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Seven-Dwarfs-of-MenopauseA post by wellness nurse Mary Buchan:

You are hot and itchy and you want to punch people. You laughed and some pee came out. You are exhausted. You cry at the drop of a hat. You can’t sleep, and you have no idea what you were looking for in the closet. You haven’t had a period in a year.

You desire a romantic encounter, but you feel so…dry. And you’re not really feeling very sexy anyway. It’s painful to admit that your body is increasingly becoming bloated, despite your best efforts to stick to your eating plan and exercise protocol.

My friend, it’s no mystery, you’re just under the spell of the seven evil dwarves of menopause. Once upon a time they were the adorable seven little guys who helped Snow White escape from the curse of her wicked stepmother, but now they’ve mutated into gremlins on a mission to haunt the midlife woman.

So instead of thinking of them in terms of Snow White, maybe “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” would be a better fit.

These seven dwarves are hideous, sinister beings whose names are Itchy, Bitchy, Leaky, Sleepy, Sweaty, Weepy, and, of course, Forgetful. And hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work they go…

These dwarves of menopause have been described by Suzanne Somers in her book, The Sexy Years, but she’s only one of the many midlife women who’ve had their own encounters with these tiny tormentors.

Let’s take a closer look at each of these devilish dwarves and offer some advice about how to handle them.

Itchy is heckling you because your entire body is losing moisture, not only in your skin, but also in your eyes and even your vagina.

Bitchy makes your mood shift all over the spectrum, often causing you to overreact to minor irritants and seem a little crazy.

Leaky latches himself onto gravity and your aging process, making it very easy leak pee at inopportune moments, like when you laugh, cough or sneeze. This can also lead to urinary tract infections.

Sweaty brings hot flashes and night sweats. You might wake up in the morning feeling like you’ve just left the gym after a high-intensity cardio workout.

Sleepy makes his presence known when you’re unable to sleep through the night, sometimes because you’re feeling overheated.

Weepy causes you to cry hysterically for no good reason, simply because your hormones are out of whack and your emotions are all over the place.

Forgetful comes in the form of a foggy brain. If I remember correctly, studies show that this will pass once you get past menopause.

Stay tuned, and in the next post, I’ll share some steps you can take to get these diabolical dwarfs under control—so you really can live Happily Ever After.

Mary Buchan has spent the past 30 years as a wife, mother, registered nurse and singer/songwriter.  In 2012 she re-purposed her nurse’s cap to start her own coaching practice with a focus on life reinvention. Mary is also a blogger and the author of the soon to be released book  Over It: How To Live Above Your Circumstances and Beyond Yourself ( Spark Publications).

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Check out Mary’s website, where you can also find her blog:   http://marybuchan.com/

 Grammar Tidbit: When I loaded Mary’s post onto my blog, I saw the word “dwarves” come up in spellcheck. A little grammatical investigation led to this fun answer, linked to our Hobbit friend, J.R. Tolkien.

Euphoria! The Best Part of the Menopause Roller Coaster

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MTM hat tossPreview

Yep!

Euphoria.

I’d be living my regular life and all of a sudden.

Pow!

I’d fly into the best mood.

Dust bunnies, pudgy stomach, piles of projects.

Didn’t matter.

Life was a beach!

A big, wonderful, splashy, happy beach.

Of all my menopause symptoms, this was by far the most fun.

Actually, none of the other symptoms even came close to the idea of fun.

Websites suggest the euphoria is caused by fluctuating hormones.

I like to think it’s a prize from the Menopause Goddess for enduring the dregs of The Great Pause.

The euphoria for me was fleeting, lasting about fifteen minutes and happening perhaps twenty times over a year or so.

Life’s all about grabbing the gusto.

If menopausal euphoria splashes your way, catch that wave and enjoy!

Anyone else have a similar happy story to tell?

Mary Richards

Photo: I’m sure you recognize Mary Richards, long before menopause, tossing her hat in the air during  a euphoric moment.

 http://www.blogdash.com/full_profile/?claim_code=5ca7ac09a5289ce472ab7e764002629c

I Didn’t Pause for Menopause

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When blogger Ruth Crates told me that she flew through menopause, I asked her to write us a post to present that side of  the story.  Take it away, Ruth!

Menopause?

I think I was so busy I missed it.

Since I am now 62, and I haven’t had a period in a while, I am pretty sure it happened.

Let’s back up just a little bit…

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When I reached the age where periods were probable, my mom sat down with me (briefly) and we had a talk.

What I remember most about the talk was the fact that my grandmother never told my mother about the entire process.  Some subjects were just taboo in the 1930’s; this was one of them.  When her first period came, she seriously thought she was going to die and was afraid to tell anyone.   Luckily, her older sister intervened.

Even though Mom didn’t really give me a lot of information during the talk, she at least wanted to spare me the fear of the unknown.

She  gave me a little book created by Kotex  called “Now You Are 10″.  It explained everything very nicely and even had a diagram explaining how to use the little belts we had to wear to hold the sanitary napkins in place.   I never did get the hang of that!

now you are 10

Girls are always at some hormonal point in their lives.  I figure we get 10 years of no worries.

Then you have:  Premenstrual, Menstrual, Postmenstrual,  Pregnancy, Post pregnancy, Perimenopause. Menopause, and Post Menopause.  It’s the never-ending story!

I have gone through all those stages (some of them several times).

Unfortunately, now I have reached the stage which I have taken the liberty of calling “Oldness.”

I may be done with all of the above afflictions, but now there are new things  like memory-loss, confusion, arthritis, joint-replacement, and the ever popular incontinence.

As for the menopause thing, I had a pretty easy time of it.

My periods were never  regular except for a brief time in the 70’s when I was on “The Pill”.  So I can easily dismiss that symptom.

I don’t recall a single hot flash.

I did have night sweats for a long time…. maybe even as long as 10 years, but I blamed it on my mattress.

Since my periods were irregular, they were sometimes “super-heavy” and unpredictable.  I bought a rubberized bed cover to protect the mattress.  I always thought that the rubber discouraged air flow and  resulted in the sweats.  Maybe it was actually … menopause!

This I am sure of:  paranoia is a direct result of menopause.

When I turned 57, I had not had a period in several months and I began to have thoughts about being pregnant. It could happen.  These thoughts took on a life of their own and I began to obsess about it.

I had several mini-panic  attacks thinking I was pregnant.

I actually went to the doctor and had a pregnancy test done.   My doctor, thank goodness, is a woman, so I think she sensed how disturbed my thoughts were and wanted to put these fears to rest.

Of course, the results were negative, and I was quite relieved. I guess the funniest part about this obsession is that my husband had  a vasectomy 20 years earlier…. I mean, really, what were the odds!

I have always thought that obsessive and unrealistic thoughts were a side effect of menopause, at least in my case, because usually I am pretty sane.

Every woman’s menopause is different.

We should be careful not to compare our experience with others too closely. Experiencing an uneventful menopause is definitely preferable to having a difficult one.

Taking your menopausal symptoms seriously is sound procedure.

Visiting your doctor on a regular basis is just good sense.  The better your doctor knows you, the better chance you both have of being able to figure out what is going on with your body.  That is something we all need to be aware of no matter what time of life we are in.

Regardless of how you deal with the stages of your life… they are your Life.

Enjoy the changes and embrace each stage because there is always another one on the way!

Ruth profile

Ruth Crates was born and raised on a Midwest grain and livestock farm and has  lived her entire life within a 30 mile radius.  She’s  been married to a grain and livestock farmer for 41 years, and they have three children (An attorney, a carpenter, and a librarian) and three grandchildren. Ruth taught for 35 years. She’s now retired and loving it! She started blogging to record stories for her children and grandchildren. Check out her  blog at Retiredruth: Life in the 50’s and Beyond.