I Didn’t Pause for Menopause

When blogger Ruth Crates told me that she flew through menopause, I asked her to write us a post to present that side of  the story.  Take it away, Ruth!

Menopause?

I think I was so busy I missed it.

Since I am now 62, and I haven’t had a period in a while, I am pretty sure it happened.

Let’s back up just a little bit…

When I reached the age where periods were probable, my mom sat down with me (briefly) and we had a talk.

What I remember most about the talk was the fact that my grandmother never told my mother about the entire process.  Some subjects were just taboo in the 1930’s; this was one of them.  When her first period came, she seriously thought she was going to die and was afraid to tell anyone.   Luckily, her older sister intervened.

Even though Mom didn’t really give me a lot of information during the talk, she at least wanted to spare me the fear of the unknown.

She  gave me a little book created by Kotex  called “Now You Are 10″.  It explained everything very nicely and even had a diagram explaining how to use the little belts we had to wear to hold the sanitary napkins in place.   I never did get the hang of that!

Girls are always at some hormonal point in their lives.  I figure we get 10 years of no worries.

Then you have:  Premenstrual, Menstrual, Postmenstrual,  Pregnancy, Post pregnancy, Perimenopause. Menopause, and Post Menopause.  It’s the never-ending story!

I have gone through all those stages (some of them several times).

Unfortunately, now I have reached the stage which I have taken the liberty of calling “Oldness.”

I may be done with all of the above afflictions, but now there are new things  like memory-loss, confusion, arthritis, joint-replacement, and the ever popular incontinence.

As for the menopause thing, I had a pretty easy time of it.

My periods were never  regular except for a brief time in the 70′s when I was on “The Pill”.  So I can easily dismiss that symptom.

I don’t recall a single hot flash.

I did have night sweats for a long time…. maybe even as long as 10 years, but I blamed it on my mattress.

Since my periods were irregular, they were sometimes “super-heavy” and unpredictable.  I bought a rubberized bed cover to protect the mattress.  I always thought that the rubber discouraged air flow and  resulted in the sweats.  Maybe it was actually … menopause!

This I am sure of:  paranoia is a direct result of menopause.

When I turned 57, I had not had a period in several months and I began to have thoughts about being pregnant. It could happen.  These thoughts took on a life of their own and I began to obsess about it.

I had several mini-panic  attacks thinking I was pregnant.

I actually went to the doctor and had a pregnancy test done.   My doctor, thank goodness, is a woman, so I think she sensed how disturbed my thoughts were and wanted to put these fears to rest.

Of course, the results were negative, and I was quite relieved. I guess the funniest part about this obsession is that my husband had  a vasectomy 20 years earlier…. I mean, really, what were the odds!

I have always thought that obsessive and unrealistic thoughts were a side effect of menopause, at least in my case, because usually I am pretty sane.

Every woman’s menopause is different.

We should be careful not to compare our experience with others too closely. Experiencing an uneventful menopause is definitely preferable to having a difficult one.

Taking your menopausal symptoms seriously is sound procedure.

Visiting your doctor on a regular basis is just good sense.  The better your doctor knows you, the better chance you both have of being able to figure out what is going on with your body.  That is something we all need to be aware of no matter what time of life we are in.

Regardless of how you deal with the stages of your life… they are your Life.

Enjoy the changes and embrace each stage because there is always another one on the way!

Ruth Crates was born and raised on a Midwest grain and livestock farm and has  lived her entire life within a 30 mile radius.  She’s  been married to a grain and livestock farmer for 41 years, and they have three children (An attorney, a carpenter, and a librarian) and three grandchildren. Ruth taught for 35 years. She’s now retired and loving it! She started blogging to record stories for her children and grandchildren. Check out her  blog at Retiredruth: Life in the 50′s and Beyond.

Her Waist Is Gone!

Not the lovely lady in the above picture.

She’s got a waist.

But I don’t.

My waistline is gone.

Or at least gone missing.

I made this startling discovery while shopping for  a rehearsal dinner dress for Laura’s fastly approaching wedding.

“You need to show off your waist,” the bride-to-be announced.

This is her standard line, no matter the occasion.

While they admire the spirit of the sixties, Laura’s generation seems to live in fear of anything that shouts baggy or comfortable.

Daughter Kath is wont to add, when I’m with her, “That dress needs a belt.”

Bu the other day in the dressing room, anything with a waist was an immediate two thumbs down.

I looked like a teddy bear in a party dress.

I’ve put on a few pounds, but this feels different.

My wedding rings now twirl on my finger. My chin is still pointy.

It’s all migrated to my middle.

Weight gain about the midsection.

How many times have I read that?

Dr. Oz says it’s related to the drop in estrogen.  There goes the E word, again.

Another woe of menopause.

Can a missing waist be found?

I’m in need of encouraging words!

Photos:  The lovely painting is from the cover of The Women’s Home Companion, November, 1929. My bear is wearing a vintage Shirley Temple doll dress. She wants the blogosphere to know that she is very happy with her waist (or lack thereof) and has no body issues or concerns about menopause.

Still Alice Giveaway:  Congrats to Sally, who won the copy of Still Alice.  Thanks again to Susan for her post that  focuses on early Alzheimer’s Disease.

Happy Birthday to Charlie, a Menopause Miracle!

A post by my friend Jan McKelvey. Her son Charlie turns 17 today.  Happy Birthday to Charlie!

Jim and I both grew up in Michigan, met at college (Eastern Michigan University) in 1973, married in 1977, and lived for many years in Howell, Michigan, where 3 sons were born:  Josh, Ben and Mike.

Sadness hit when we lost 3 babies, 2 to miscarriages and one son lost to stillbirth at 34 weeks gestation.

We decided to move to North Carolina to be closer to my parents when their health started to fail, and came here in 1992.
Despite keeping busy, I was starting to be bothered by hot flashes and hormonal surges at age 42. It was a little early onset for menopause, but my mother had started menopause early, too.

I got Gail Sheehy’s book,The Silent Passage, and read through every page and every chapter to learn more about menopause symptoms and what to do about them.

At that time in the mid 1990s, women were still readily taking hormone replacement medication.  So, I made an appointment at the doctor’s office to discuss menopause, and maybe get a prescription.

A few months later, on the way home from choir practice, I started to wonder, “Gail’s book didn’t say ANYTHING about feeling nauseous.  I’m having hot flashes and nausea.  What’s that about?”

Because of my history of needing to redirect to more positive thinking, I thought, “OK, I’ll just go to WalMart and get one of those pee-on-a-stick tests, to shut my mind up.  I can’t be pregnant.  I’ll take the test, and that will be that.”

Did I mention that my husband had a vasectomy 9 years prior?

And I was having hot flashes?

I stopped at the store on the way home from choir practice, went home, and feeling very foolish, took the test.

My husband had no idea why I was waving something in his face when I woke him up.

Later, he told me he wondered if there was a menopause urine test!

It was positive!

After this surprise, I went to the doctor’s office the very next morning.  That urine test was positive, too.

When I asked the doctor what were the chances that both the WalMart test, and the clinic urine test were wrong, he responded, “They’re not wrong.  Congratulations!  You’re pregnant!”

I burst into tears.

The doctor thought I was upset, and I had to quickly explain my history and why I was so happy.

He whisked me down to the Ultrasound machine, where he showed me the tiny little fetus with a steadily pumping heart to convince me.  Such joy!

I was followed in the High Risk group, which I refer to as the” Geriatric Pregnancy Group,” and delivered a healthy baby boy when I was 43.

Charlie has been an additional blessing to us, just as our other children have blessed our lives.

We are so thankful for all of them.

So that empty nest?  It has to wait!

Now, we have grandchildren, and more opportunities to play with precious children!

From Top:  Charlie just before he turned 17;  Charlie,  age nine, at the North Carolina State Fair; Charlie in his infant seat crunching the newspaper; Jan on a recent cruise to Alaska;  the whole McKelvey family with Charlie as a baby in 1996.

Jan McKelvey writes:  ”I continue to work as an Occupational Therapist, now thankfully working with our veterans full time at the Durham VA, with weekend work at Duke Raleigh Hospital.  We are thankful for all of our friends and family and many blessings.” Jan lives in Hillsborough, North Carolina and still sings in the church choir!

Thanks to Jan’s husband Jim, photographer extraordinaire, for the photos.

Mercy, the Menopause Angel

I’m Mercy!

You might think I’m a guy by my short haircut, but it’s breezy up here in heaven, so I like the no worry feel of shorter hair. Well actually, there are no worries in heaven, but old habits die hard, and I just think I’m better off with shorter tresses.

I’m just popping in on Friend for a Ride to tell you all, you’re doing great!  You’ve got courage, endurance, and spunk.

Along with that, I’m keeping watch over you!  That’s my job!

Just when the Great Pause is giving you pause, I swoop in to assist you:

• Suddenly your grandma’s missing emerald ring shows up in your underwear drawer.
• You spot that nasty white hair on your chin before anyone else does.
• Yes, you have insomnia, but in the middle of a tossy turny night, you figure out the solution to a vexing problem at the office.
• You’re giving a toast at your cousin’s wedding. Do you break into a hot flash right then? Absolutely NOT!

So that’s about it.

Oh and I know someone will ask about my wings.

Yes, shy though I am to say, the red splotches represent the days of, um, your period.

But the blue/green represents your happy liberation from your monthly visitor, whenever that happens.

Have a heavenly day, my Lovely Earthy Charges!

Your guardian friend,

Mercy

The portrait of Mercy was done by my mom, Nancy Kiehne.