Menopause, Midlife

I Can Solve Your Problem! I know I Can, She Thinks with Her Hand Over Her Mouth


I can solve her problem.  I know I can.  I know I can.  I just know I can!

But she won’t listen.

I can solve his problem.  I know I can.  I know I can.  I just know I can!

But he won’t listen.

I can solve everybody’s problems.  I know I can.  I know I can.  I just know I can!

But they won’t listen.

And oh no!  I bet they sometimes feel the same frustration with me.

So what’s the answer to this quandary?  Can you solve it?

Why won’t others take our advice, and why won’t we take theirs (most of the time)?

Is it because they/we are stubborn?  And the solutions will force us to go in directions we don’t want to go?

Or are we just not insightful enough to get deep inside one another’s problems to really understand them?

Don’t know.

Friends and family (well mostly family, who tend to be so ouch brutally honest), say I give way too much advice.  And so with The Great Pause and midlife, I am learning to just keep my mouth closed, at least some.  (Blog excepted.)

But if someone says, “I need your advice,” this old brain goes to town.  Yippee!

What about you?  Are you a giver of advice?  Or has age taught you to hold your wise tongue?

Photo:  I took this picture from a fourth grade arithmetic test my mom saved. I got a 98%.  Funny, no math tests exist for Barbara Kiehne [Younger] once she got into Algebra Two.  Maybe a tutor or a wise math friend could have helped her, but she was too stubborn to ask for advice.

Note that the test was mimeographed.  Remember the fumes!  Those were the days.

22 thoughts on “I Can Solve Your Problem! I know I Can, She Thinks with Her Hand Over Her Mouth”

  1. Oh, I thought it was just me who was going around with a black and blue tongue– I guess not! 🙂 I wonder if I was so “unadvisable” when I was younger…I guess I was. But I have learned to wait to be invited before I give advice. Scratch that. I am learning to do that. It’s a process.

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  2. I remember I and others in class grabbing our freshly mimeographed tests and holding them to our faces to breathe in that lovely smell. I hope it wasn’t toxic! lol I give advice too freely and I probably should hold my tongue but sometimes it just bursts out of me! Perhaps I need to find the brain-to-month gatekeeper and figure out why he’s asleep at the switch?

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    1. According to Wikipedia, spirit duplicator fluid is a 50/50 mix of isopropyl alcohol and ethanol. By the end of the days of “dittos” there were scary warnings on the can about skin contact and breathing the fumes and in my school system the supply had to be stored in locked sheds away from the school buildings.

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    1. Dad gets a kick because on other parts of the test you can see how I crossed off etc. just like now. (He says I can’t address an envelope without making a mistake, which is basically true.)

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  3. I love to give advice & in my opinion it’s really good advice!! However, I have calmed down some in my middle years. I don’t know about everybody else but what I most want now is just for somebody to listen. So what I try to do is listen with compassion and maybe throw in a few kind words or a little humor.

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    1. And at least we don’t real annoyed with one another over taking or not taking advice. Men (seem) to get more annoyed when their advice is ignored or passed over.

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  4. So enjoying your blog this morning! I hope that I learned a long time ago never to give advice unless someone asks me for it. However, when it comes to my adult children, well sometimes my ‘words of wisdom’ will just sneak out 🙂

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    1. I’ve been with mine this weekend. Working on tongue holding. Actually, I think I’m doing a better job than they are…

      Thanks about the blog!

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      1. Oh I know what you mean! My daughter is expecting our first grandchild in August and I’m sure I’ll be practicing tongue holding (maybe even biting) for quite some time! And Happy Birthday – I found you via Kath’s blog. We must be grateful that our adult children still want to vacation with us.

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      2. Oh my gosh both first grandchildren are due at the same time. How exciting! (And I find I often take their hair/clothes advice, so of course they’re right about plenty.)

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