Droop and THE GIRLS

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Corsets Girdles Magnetic Harness Underwear, UK (1890)

I’m wondering if these old time corsets would help me deal with the droop my girls complain about.

In the above sentence, THE GIRLS means my daughters.  Whenever we go clothes shopping, I usually hear from Laura or Kath:  ” MOM, THAT BRA IS TERRIBLE.”

But they are talking about THE GIRLS that Oprah talks about, the up top girls.

And so TWICE, I have gone to a bra fitting at a chic department store where a saleslady stood, young and darling, with a pink measuring tape artfully looped around her neck.

Five minutes later, I’ve stood, menopausal and droopy, while she directs me as I try on a bevy of bras.

I pray she ignores droop as well as moles, stretch marks, age spots, wrinkles, and who knows what else.

“Aren’t these a little tight?” I ask.

“They need to be tight,” she replies.  “That”s how we get the support.”

She convinces me.

Hope springs eternal on the car ride home.  The bras are lovely.  My top did look perkier.  And they have to work, considering the pretty penny I just paid for them.

But when I wear the beige one out  to dinner that night, it starts to dig in.  By the time I’m diving into my entree, I can hardly concentrate for the pain.  Similar trouble with the black one at work the next day.

Despite the somber warnings I received when the bras were carefully wrapped in tissue at the register, I become proactive.  No hand washing for these trouble makers.  Maybe some hot water and not-so-delicate detergent and a rough round of jiggling and spinning and then a tumble in a hot dryer will mellow them out.

Take that, you digger inners!

No luck.

I go back to my old bras.  The new ones sleep, forlorn, pristine, and expensive, in my lingerie drawer.

I agree one hundred percent with my girls that THE GIRLS should not droop.  That said, I have a low pain tolerance.

So what is this girl, with the droopy  up top girls and the complaining daughter girls, to do?

Advice oh readers!  Have you found bras that are comfortable AND offer enough support?

Or do we  need to go back to the days of the corset, which come to think about it, looks even more painful than my abandoned bras…

Photo:  The Harness’s Magnetic Corset promised, in 1890, to aid the chest in “its healthy development.”   Maybe a corset would aid mine in its menopausal decline.

35 responses »

  1. Hahahaha. Glad to read you have gotten our message loud and clear 🙂 I think you just need to find more comfortable versions of the supportive bras while in the store. Take the ones you didn’t like and explain the the ladies what you didn’t like about them. Or get used to the digging in! You really will with time!

    • Not sure I will get used to the digging in and I’m not brave enough to speak up to the ladies as they are awfully bossy, but I guess I can try.

  2. I have bought some “good” bras and actually had to take the bone out of the sides. It dug in so badly, and was just too annoying. Otherwise, they fit was great and the support was better than most. If it were not for that constant nagging bone, whatever the heck that is!

  3. Same experience!! The bras that the sales ladies tell me are the right fit for me do look great but they are so uncomfortable!! Thanks anyway, I’ll just droop. I’d rather be comfortable than perky, I guess.

  4. I hate those under-wire t-shirt bras which keep you perky and from drooping but what I think is worse is that you JIGGLE!!. Yikes!! Out they go!!

  5. Did you go to Nordstrom? I think they do the best job, way better than VS. There is
    store in nyc where you make an appt. for a fitting. Really tempted to try it while
    I am up there this month. Warning for young chickies……..breast feeding does the
    same thing!!!

  6. Everyone droops when they get older–even us not so big ones. My sister who was a nurse says she was shocked at the flatter chested ladies who hung completely down thin as pencils! So there is no escaping the droop. But I think you can get comfortable bras that give pretty good support. The trick is to try on all different styles, brands, and sizes till you find one that is comfortable and still lifts the girls up. And no you don’t get used to it after awhile. My daughter says the same thing about shoes. She says to get them tight and break them in. Been there, done that, blisters and all. Not anymore! If they rub anyplace when I try them on, I will not buy them. One of the good things about getting older is you refuse to not be comfortable just to impress others. So as I have said before it is best not to shop with your children, just as they don’t want you to shop with them and tell them what style to wear. We are capable of picking out our own clothes. Maybe take a good friend along who will be honest with you but understands what people our age like and want to wear. And who choose to be comfy.

    • the really high quality stores say the exact same thing about bras, shoes, etc.
      It has to fit right off the bat. Breaking something in is a sales pitch. My shoes
      have to fit perfectly and for a 10 hour work day, you can’t do that with
      payless shoes, sadly

    • Oh gosh like pencils? Yikes. I think the shoe breaking in is more olden days–my mom was into that. We used to buy this stuff called mole skin to put on where they rubbed.

  7. i have had the same issue. i do think you just need to spend time and try all different kinds. i finally found one i love at an outlet store in the mountains. now i order them online. i pray they don’t discontinue the style. i refuse to wear the wire ones as they dig in to my stomach. at this point in my life i go for comfort. all that bra discomfort is meant for the young!

    and just a note….breast feeding has nothing to do with droop (unless you have 10 kids maybe)!!! everyone gets droopy with age….. regardless.

  8. I’ve taken to wearing the bras that look like someone is already in them. They’re molded, formed, and look like you could draw water from a well with them. When I discovered these wired but wonderful things, I bought them in every color available and even bought one of their sluttier cousins: the plunge bra. In total and complete love with the red one, the hot pink one, the black one, and even the tame toasted almond one. Then I went back for matching bottoms. They’re not Victoria’s Secret, they’re my little secret.

    • Gosh I’ve been afraid to try those on. So they are really comfortable? Love your description of them!

  9. I like the Coobie bra – it’s very comfortable (which is the main thing in my opinion) and somewhat supportive.

  10. “healthy development.” HA! That’s too much to even take in.

    Okay, I’ve done the ‘fitting.’ It was pretty ridiculous to me. I find these good old faithful Playtex models are just fine:
    http://www.onehanesplace.com/outlet/bras/playtex-bras/playtex-secrets-signature-florals-fuller-underwire-bra

    And for the price, you can hardly go wrong. I have a couple different styles (some slightly lined, etc.) and they all are “okay.” Let’s just say, nothing more expensive has ever been better.

    I’m an underwire gal and I like a wide strap and a wide back. I’m sort of buxom, so need all the support I can get.

    And you know what, when the GIRLS are heavy and droppin’, there’s not a hell of a lot that makes it better. I hoist them up the best I can. As far as wearing a bra so tight it hurts… I say let ’em droop. The pain is not worth it. So there……….. I had my say. 😉

    • I haven’t tried Platex in years. Remember their ads from our childhood? Weren’t they the
      “cross your heart people?” I’m surprised, in a way, that they even allowed them on TV.

  11. Been there done that on the bra fittings.
    My funny saggy breast story, I can tell it here since were all “friends” . This happened when my granddaughter was around 3-4. While visiting she came looking for me and found me in the bathtub. She took a glance and said “when a get big I want to have boobies that dip into the water.” I was sitting upright and yes they did infact DIP into the water. I hope she is lucky enough to not get the dipping boobies when she gets older.

  12. Frankly, I think the whole bra concept needs to be revamped and brought into the 21st century. If men had to wear them, they would be 1. comfortable 2. made of “space age” materials 3. be phone/internet compatible, AND 4. be equipped with universal remotes. By the way, Leslie, I like your “dipping boobies” story!

    • If men had to wear them, they’d be fab, although Cliff would probably say how does that explain ties and sports coats at summer weddings and funerals.

      • You got that right! There’s no way I’d ever buy something that’s uncomfortable. Just say no to the cultural attitudes and the sales pressure.

  13. Oh you made me laugh, just found your blog. I have two girls as well and exactly the same comments, as your girls make. I have had the exact same bra experience, spent a fortune , for pain and then put on the old bras, and let out a big sigh of bliss .

    • Thanks! Keep reading.The menopause party is on! And fun you had the exact same experience. A friend told me that once a year Chico’s (their special underwear store-can’t remember its name) does a collection of gently used bras and donates them to women’s shelters.

  14. Pingback: Breast Pain in Menopause | Friend For The Ride

  15. Pingback: Breast Pain in the Menopause | talkhealth Blog

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