I have begged and pleaded and tried my very best to convince men friends to write a guest post for Friend for the Ride. Some have turned me down with a smile, some with a quite serious shake of the head. And others have kindly agreed to write a guest post, but I have been waiting, gentlemen.
Up until now! Without any cajoling, I found in my inbox the other day, a guest post from a man of men, Santa Claus! Santa writes:
Good Friend for the Ride Readers: As most of you know, I don’t just watch the kids. I watch all of you, especially you menopausal ladies. Mrs. Claus, who is long past the roller coaster ride, had a tough time. I did all I could to help out my North Pole Missus.
I want to help you,too, being the giving soul that I am. Here are five tips for menopause, just in time for the holidays, from a man’s point of view:
1. Speak up! I tell my elves not to suffer in silence. If things aren’t going so well in the toy workshop, let me know. The same goes for partners. I can’t read the minds of elves or my wife. Let the man in your life know what you are thinking and feeling, especially when menopause makes you as gloomy as the Grinch.
2. We men aren’t nearly as concerned as you are about your wrinkles or sags or age spots. I’m glad to put some makeup and potions under the tree for you, but you really don’t need them. To a man, you’re lovely as you are!
3. Don’t worry so much about your weight over the holidays. My stomach looks like a bowl full of jelly. Most men develop at least a small pooch themselves. Live and enjoy! Tis the season!
4. As far as the bedroom goes, Mrs. Claus and I figured out that it’s best to make dates. In fact, if you promise you won’t tell the teenagers, I’ll let you in on a secret: Our favorite rendezvous of the year is on Christmas Eve, when I return to our cozy cottage in the frozen north after my jaunt around the world.
5. When menopause gets you down, sometimes meaningful volunteer work can take your mind off your own struggles. And so an announcement:
This year, I’m inviting two ladies to join me on the sleigh (with complete approval from Mrs. Claus). Share the joy as we deliver presents across the earth. Leave me a comment saying you’d like to win. I promise you, this will be QUITE the roller coaster ride.
Me again: Thanks Santa, for the great post and for inviting two of my readers to take a sleigh ride of sleigh rides. Good luck to all of you who enter!
Congratulations to Susan and Joy, who won a copy of Janet Fox’s Sirens. And congrats,too, to Judith and Lucy for winning the Bring It Up giveaway. More giveaways in the works (lots of them) for 2013!
Adorable! Don’t give up on finding men to post! I’m sure they’re out there, just too shy to hang with us gals.
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Ho! Ho! Ho! to the editor of Tangerine Tango. I have lots of copies in my bag! Thousands of ladies are going to be very happy to receive that great little book. Mrs. Claus gave out copies to her book club and sewing circle, too.
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Comments are from Santa, for real. I’m just letting him use my WordPress log-in.
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Me, Santa! Me! Me! Me!
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Well ho ho ho to you Frances, Love to have you ride with me on the sleigh. Good luck to you in the drawing. And I’ve been peeking into that novel you’ve been working on. Have you thought of adding an elf?
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Hey Santa, pick me! I’m always one to take a hit for the team: I’ll eat the cookies. If you’ll doing the heavy lifting we’ll be a machine getting it done–you’ll be back in the cozy cottage with the Missus in no time. How much luggage space is mine on the sleigh? What should I pack to cover all those weather conditions? Layers are best? Do I have to wear red? Red is not good on me, especially that orange red…I can made sandwiches…will we have time to stop and see my mother?
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Yes on the sandwiches. Thanks! Yes on red too–a requirement. No need to dress too warmly. Sleigh has magical heat. Yes on your mom. Santa loves mothers!
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Thank you, Santa, for sharing your thoughts and tips on menopause. It’s so good to hear from a man about this bumpy ride we endure. My Hubby may have said all the same things to me, at the time, but Lord knows I wasn’t listening. 😉 A third party’s voice always gets through better, eh?
And, thank you, Barbara, for inviting Santa to guest post. I sure hope you get more brave men like him to appear here from time to time. We women gather and share our trials and tribulations so easily and willingly, that I dare say we may see ourselves as if we’re looking in a 10x magnifying mirror. No one else judges our flaws (inside and out) quite so harshly as we do. Thank you, Santa, for reminding us that our loved ones love us as we are, and not as some spruced-up version. Merry Christmas to you and the Missus!
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Yes, Patti. You got it! You women are far too critical. Hey Mrs. Claus is more beautiful to me now than she was at 16!
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A direct line to Santa???? YES!!!!!!!!!! Ok…Santa…I truly covet a Clapper for Christmas…one that I can attach to the fan by my bed. Since you know if I’ve been sleeping…you know when I’m awake…you know I have freakin insomnia…so a Clapper for goodness sake!!!!!!!!!!!!! Merry Christmas!
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Gina, The elves are working on your Clapper right now! We needed something else for you, so thanks for the suggestion.
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Santa,
I am ready to go! I need some insiration for my stories I have been working on. The adventures take place all around the world. You know all about that! And not only would it help spark my creativity but I have been wanting to meet a new family relative I just found out about. She lives in Sweden. On our way back to your place you can just hand me a parachute and I will hop out of the sleigh and float down to my relative’s house in northern Sweden. I am excited—Let’s go! If I am not picked, please have a safe ride–Merry Christmas!
Sheri
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Sheri, No need to take a parachute. I have deliveries in Sweden! We’ll take your right to your relative’s door!
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Oh, Santa…I love you.
I can’t sleigh ride with you this year, as I will spend it with my husband, who leaves for work the day after Christmas…but I will be with you in spirit!
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I’m all for spending time with the husband! Merry Christmas. Ho! Ho! Ho to you and yours.
Santa
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Nice to hear from Santa! Love the snow…that’s about all of the white stuff that I want!
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Dear Santa –
Hope you encourage Friend for the Ride readers to visit the National Christmas Center in Paradise, PA! It has fabulous collections of all things Christmas, including many objects that they may remember fondly from childhood.
Claritza
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