Monthly Archives: May 2013

Wedding Update: Advice for the Back of the Church


Me and Dad

Years ago, my girls and I watched a TV show called  A Wedding Story. 

One day, when Kath had a friend over, I heard her announce:  “Listen to my mom during the show. She’s going to pick at everything. She thinks the only good wedding ever was her own.”

Not true!

Well at least not all the way true.

But isn’t it sort of okay for a bride to be partial to her own wedding?

Now it’s Laura’s turn.

I’m resisting giving lots of last minute advice.

And as mother of the bride, I won’t be there at the very last minute anyway.

Hopefully, I’ll be in my seat in the front pew.


My last minute advice would be twofold:

Put your bouquet at your waist and keep it there.

Brides often carry their bouquets too high, covering the bodice of their lovely gown.

(I made this mistake, which proves, once and for all, that my wedding was NOT perfect.)

My other piece of advice is this:

The time at the back of the church is a dad’s moment too.

Remember the cool bike in fourth grade.

The Duke jacket I thought cost too much.

The checking out colleges trips.

The emergency earring repairs.

Right before you start down the aisle, say something sweet to your dad.

If I could sail back to August 20, 1977, that’s just what I would do.

Candace & Dad 2

Top Photo:  My dad helping me out of the car at my wedding in Towson, Maryland.

Bottom Photo: The mother of the groom-to-be with her father at the back of the church in Durham, New Hampshire some years ago.  Note that the bride is holding her bouquet correctly!

In some traditions, both parents walk their daughter down the aisle. To those daughters, I say, “Double your chance to say something sweet!”

The Care Organizer (and a Giveaway!)


The Care Organizer Two

Margaret Mintz tells the story behind this innovative care organizer:

My business partner and I created this notebook for keeping track of information, referrals, medical visits and tests, based on our own experiences of caring for our parents when unexpected emergencies occurred.

We are long-time friends and after these difficult and exhausting periods of dropping everything to help our parents and coordinate care with our siblings, we would take a deep breath and talk about how we had to go through piles of notes to find that doctor’s referral, or notes from medical appointments or anything else.

These conversations motivated us to design a notebook-style organizer that would have been great to have if it had existed.

We took a lot of time considering the most convenient formats.

Both of us wanted a notebook that was portable, to carry to appointments or the emergency room, and easy to write in for taking notes and recording information.

We created six clearly labeled tabbed sections to keep information organized and easy to find.

For the “Emergency Information” section we thought about what a physician would want to know about a patient when he or she arrived at the emergency room, so we included a format to enter information about Medical Conditions, Recent Hospitalizations & ER Visits, Current Medications, and Recent Surgical History and Medical Procedures.

We take special pride in our unique “Contacts A to Z” section, which is an alphabetical directory where contact information can be entered for all types of practitioners that might be needed, as well as facilities, support groups and programs and helpful websites.

And we hope that the list might serve as prompts for ideas of types of providers and services that might not have occurred to someone before.

For example, I had never heard of a Care Manager until a hospital social worker suggested one to me.

Although the impetus to create “The Care Organizer” came out of caring for our parents, as we developed it we realized that it would work well for ourselves as well, to keep track of ongoing medical care and to have available for family members in case something unexpected happened.

So we consider it helpful for managing the care of others – family members or friends – and yourself, and for keeping those who are sharing care of someone else up to date.

Here’s a look at one of the emergency information pages:


And here’s a page in the notes and records section:


To learn more about the organizer and/or to purchase one, visit the website here.

Giveaway:  Margaret is giving away an organizer to one Friend for the Ride reader.  Thanks, Margaret!  To enter the giveaway, simply leave a comment by June 15 saying that you’d like to win.  (U.S. only due to postage rates.)

About herself, Margaret writes:  I was a painter and graphic designer and after raising my children, who are now young adults, I am a small business owner. I live in New York City with my husband and cat, and my children from time to time. In the last few years, whenever I see old friends in my age group, I find that our conversation keeps circling back to the care of our parents.

Margaret Mintz

I Named a Bread!


Semolina Sunshine

Every girl has dreams.

I had dreams, years ago, of making it big as a writer.

But alas, despite some success with my writing, I’m not exactly well known (well actually known at all) to the editors of the New Yorker.

But I named a bread!

For real and true.

My son-in-law, the brilliant baker, creates new styles of bread.

He recently sent out a call:

“We’re going to make a new whole grain bread next month with semolina flour, millet, and sesame seeds.  It will be topped with a thorough crust of sesame seeds.  I need a good name!”

The email went on:  “FYI, semolina is made from durum, which is a sub-variety of wheat that is typically used in pasta.  It has a nuttier flavor than normal wheat, a lot of protein, and is very sturdy.”

That all sounded complicated to me.

I really don’t get wheat and how it magically turns into bread, but I do know that Mrs. Sun assists grandly by shining down on those amber waves of grain.

Semolina Sunshine!

I submitted the name to the Editor of the Bread.

The next thing I knew, there it was, labeling the delicious loaves themselves:

Semolina Sunshine Label

They say every good blog post needs a takeaway.

And so here’s mine for today.

Nope, I didn’t make a lot of dough with my writing.

But I’m lucky enough to have a son-in-law who makes a lot of dough, delicious dough.

And I’m lucky enough, in mid-life, to have new avenues for creativity such as blogging and bread naming.

I bet you, too, have opportunities you never thought you’d have, in places you would least expect them.

Let the sun shine on us!

The Bakery:  The next time you’re in Charlottesville, Virginia, stop in to the bakery, Great Harvest Bread Company.  Try some samples from the Bread Board:

Bread Board

And meet the Baker, Matt Monson, and his wife:


A Wedding/Menopause TMI Post


Wedding Purse

My friend Carol Baldwin says I sometimes write about gutsy stuff  (which I’m hoping is a compliment, Carol). Since she has a daughter’s wedding coming up, I’m dedicating this post to her!

The purse above is the purse I carried on Katherine’s big day.

For Laura’s upcoming nuptials, I thought it would be fun to get a new one.

But alas, pennies are spilling from our pocketbooks like lucky rice tossed into the wedding wind.

Carrying the same purse again would save a few of those pennies.

And the silver sequins match the silver beads on my royal blue dress.

So I plucked the purse off my closet shelf.

Look what I found tucked  inside…

A tampon and two safety pins.

Inside Wedding Purse

Don’t need that tampon anymore.

Toss it to the wind!


My encouraging words for those of you in the throes of iffy, spotty, who-knows-when periods or still having plain old here-it-is-again periods:

You’ll get your chance to smile when you see a tampon tucked inside an old purse.

And that, Dearly Beloved, will be a day to celebrate!

P.S. The safety pins are coming along with me. I’m in charge of bustling the dress. Olga, the wedding dress rescuer who created the bustle, demonstrated the process to me.  Be still my spinning head.

If worse comes to worse, I’ll abandon the hooks and eyes and just pin up the fluffs of tulle.  That’s my plan, but of course, I haven’t mentioned this to the bride…