Celebrations, Children

Wedding Update: Advice for the Back of the Church

Me and Dad

Years ago, my girls and I watched a TV show called  A Wedding Story. 

One day, when Kath had a friend over, I heard her announce:  “Listen to my mom during the show. She’s going to pick at everything. She thinks the only good wedding ever was her own.”

Not true!

Well at least not all the way true.

But isn’t it sort of okay for a bride to be partial to her own wedding?

Now it’s Laura’s turn.

I’m resisting giving lots of last minute advice.

And as mother of the bride, I won’t be there at the very last minute anyway.

Hopefully, I’ll be in my seat in the front pew.


My last minute advice would be twofold:

Put your bouquet at your waist and keep it there.

Brides often carry their bouquets too high, covering the bodice of their lovely gown.

(I made this mistake, which proves, once and for all, that my wedding was NOT perfect.)

My other piece of advice is this:

The time at the back of the church is a dad’s moment too.

Remember the cool bike in fourth grade.

The Duke jacket I thought cost too much.

The checking out colleges trips.

The emergency earring repairs.

Right before you start down the aisle, say something sweet to your dad.

If I could sail back to August 20, 1977, that’s just what I would do.

Candace & Dad 2

Top Photo:  My dad helping me out of the car at my wedding in Towson, Maryland.

Bottom Photo: The mother of the groom-to-be with her father at the back of the church in Durham, New Hampshire some years ago.  Note that the bride is holding her bouquet correctly!

In some traditions, both parents walk their daughter down the aisle. To those daughters, I say, “Double your chance to say something sweet!”

8 thoughts on “Wedding Update: Advice for the Back of the Church”

  1. This brought tears to my eyes. Oh how I wish I could go back and say something sweet to my dad, on my wedding day or any day.


  2. That’s such a sweet picture of you & your dad. He seems courtly! And you haven’t changed a bit – except for the dress! : ) Lovely memories for you and I hope Laura has just as many sweet memories of her wedding!


  3. Oh my, Barbara.. you haven’t changed a bit! Such a lovely memory and sentiment. I waited in the ‘crying room’ at the back of the church for my walk up the aisle and I remember distinctly when my sister came in to see if we were ready, and she burst into tears when I turned around. Then my Mom hugged me and tried not to cry. Good memories.

    I eloped for my first marriage, so no wedding. I had a formal wedding the next time. Sadly, my Dad was no longer with us. Very good reminder to all the brides-to-be: make memories in the back of the church… the kind you will cherish forever. Don’t let the busy-ness of the day distract you from the most important things. Thanks for the reminder! And thanks for sharing the wonderful photos.


  4. What sweet fotos! And now that we are getting to know Candace it is fun to see her wedding picture. Tomorrow is the big day! Nice advice….I wish I had said something sweet and meaningful to my dad. But maybe I can now!!!


  5. Well, Barbara, really. At that angle we might have been “looking down your dress” so it probably was a good thing that you held the bouquet where you did! Albeit, you do offer good suggestions, and I love the photos! This post brought back memories–my dad and I did have a special moment together just before he walked me down the aisle.


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