Menopause

Fighting: Yes or No?

I’ve been painting up a storm in 2019. Above is my rendition of Bird Arguing with the Moon. I have no clue what they are arguing about.  Any ideas?

And as I paint, I have lots of time to think. Sometimes I get immersed in the world of my painting, but other times, I ponder different things.

I read lots of self-help. A few years ago, I wrote a post about the glory of the fight. A big old blow out can bring up issues and hostilities that need solving.

But lately I’ve been reading that fighting is NOT how to solve these things. Once tempers rise, it’s best to stop or pause the fight. Wow. Cliff will tell you  that’s not my style. Or didn’t used to be.

But I am slowly understanding that stopping a fight gives each person time to think and to choose more carefully what they want to say. Like toothpaste from a tube, you can’t take those words spoken in fury back again.  Ever.

Besides,  learning to stop or pause the fight, to resist the temptation to say one more word, builds character and strength. It’s like walking away from the bowl of m&m’s. (Another skill I need to focus on.)

I don’t know if Bird is going to call a cease fire to his argument with the moon. I hope they can pause for now and return to resolve their differences peacefully another night.

What about you?

Can you, should you, do you, stop fighting? Do you find this gets easier as you age?

BirdPS:  I post my art on Facebook and have been encouraged and touched by the response of my FB friends. If you’d like to see more of my art, send me a friend request at Barbara Younger.

PPS: I’ve since repaired the pencil lines you see above. I somehow forgot about them and went ahead and varnished the painting, so I couldn’t erase them. I asked my FB friends if the lines needed to go, and the resounding reply was, “Yes.”

6 thoughts on “Fighting: Yes or No?”

  1. I don’t see the bird fighting at all but singing to the moon. I see two 3 level apartment buildings gleaming in the moonlight and the bird gives it a loving glow for the residents inside! Got to love art that is open to interpretation. I agree hurtful things are said that can’t be unsaid in a fight may not have that cleansing, airing out resolution.

  2. Good post. I’m in the midst of turmoil w/ my parents and have had an issue with one sister that makes me think we should get counseling together to repair a lifetime of problems and pave the way for a better future. Fighting is ugly, no matter what age.
    As for the bird… seems quite happy to me!

    1. I would do the counselling if your sister will go. They say just like marriage counselling, both people need to be really open to getting help (or at least I think that’s how it works). I’m sorry for the issues with your parents. And you are right about any age. I argued with my mother late in her life, and it was awful. Bird says he bets you are pleasant too, which you are!

  3. Knowing what lines to draw and what to let go is so important. Not everything is worth fighting about, but somethings are. “Pick your fights” was the wise counsel from an older woman to me when i because a step-mother 33 years ago. Never forgot it.

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