Guppies? Menopause? Yes!

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Guppy Female_1

Wikipedia has a lot to say about menopause. Check out the article here.

Of all the menopausal tidbits, the one that splashed me right in the face is this:

GUPPIES GO THROUGH MENOPAUSE!!

And I quote:

“Menopause also has been reported in a variety of other vertebrate species including elephants,[129] short-finned pilot whales[130] and other cetaceans,[131][132] the guppy,[133] the platyfish, the budgerigar, the laboratory rat and mouse, and the opossum.”

Bless their tiny guppy hearts.

I had to find out more.

Guppyblog.com to the rescue!

In this post, “Do Guppies Go Through Menopause?” the blogger writes that his/her guppies definitely live another year or so after they stop reproducing.  (This fact has only been verified for guppies living in fish tanks.)

Now take in THIS tidbit, oh Friend for the Ride readers:

Menopausal guppies are bigger than guppies who are still reproducing.

HOWEVER…

Guppies in menopause grow longer  NOT fatter.  Their bellies stay the same size.

I’ve thought it might be nice to be a flying fish. Perhaps a stunning rainbow fish.

But I’ve never once wanted to be a guppy.

Now I’m considering choosing guppy for a next life.

Imagine gaining height in menopause (instead of shrinking) while maintaining one’s midsection.

I don’t know though.

We had guppies when I was little. I won a single guppy for coming in second in the Bible Verse Memory Contest. (I got beat out by the pastor’s son.)

That night, my guppy had babies. “Kids, I’m a grandmother!” my mom called upstairs.

Those guppies produced many generations. From my human eyes, life in the guppy tank didn’t hold many thrills.

We finally gave our guppies away when our newest cat couldn’t keep his paws out of the fish tank.

I think I’ll pass on the guppy life.

Guppy Female_1

But as a member of the Universal Sisterhood, I salute you, Guppy Girls!

Enjoy that fish food!

Limerick: When Losing Brings New Beginnings

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My Limerick

We got invited to a St. Paddy’s Day party.

“Bring a limerick,” the invitation said. “It’s a contest.”

A limerick contest!  Surely I could win.

Or come in second. Or third.

“Extra points for bawdy limericks.”

Hmm. A bawdy limerick.

I’d never written anything bawdy.

I pondered.

I let my menopausal mind wander.

A streak!

How funny to picture partygoers tossing off their clothes and streaking, especially since at least some guests would be OF A CERTAIN AGE.

I worked hard on my limerick. The words. The theme. The rhythm. The rhyme.

“May I illustrate it?” I asked our host a few days before the party.

“Sure,” she said.

I had never drawn a naked man before.

At least not an anatomically correct naked man.

On party night, I kept my limerick folded in my pocket until my turn came to step up to the mic.

Then with my best dramatic flair, I read the limerick.

When I finished, I handed my paper to the judges.

Handing over poem

Twenty minutes later…

Time to announce the winners!

After a Bailey’s Irish Cream shot to calm my nerves, I held my breath.

And then I let that breath out with a sigh.

I lost.

I didn’t really lose. I got Honorable Mention, along with a mess of other limerick-writers.

However..

The booby prize I received for being the only partygoer to illustrate a limerick spurred me on to a new venture.

Bawdy cartoons!

Someone told me I didn’t have the boy parts right on my drawing. I’ll need to do some studying up.

Organize your own streak, Barbara!

For the life of me, I can’t get a man to write a post for Friend for the Ride.

Wonder if I can get any men to attend my streak?

 

Naked Men

When the Bottom Falls Out: Surgery for Uterine Prolapse

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Dog Food

 

 A post by a friend who recently had prolapse surgery:

I have always prided myself on being one of those ladies who could cough and sneeze without incident.

Well, being proud has nothing to do with reality or the fact that a myriad of other ailments occurred without my permission!!

I started having lower abdominal pain. My first thought was bladder infection.

I went to the doctor and no, it wasn’t.

Did I pick up something heavy and pull a muscle??

No, I thought….weeeell maybe.

I do lift groceries at the food pantry.  I do haul furniture around.  I go to Costco and fill my truck with big bags of potting soil, dog food and such.  My 95 year old friend told me last year: “You know, you work like a man!”…. hmmm.

So, I decided it was a muscle strain but, denial is a funny thing because eventually the truth prevails.

Time for my annual visit arrived.

I complained to my nurse practitioner and listed my symptoms- lower abdominal pain, slow urine flow and frequent constipation.

It took her all of 2 milliseconds to give me the verdict.  I had uterine prolapse.

How could my body do this to me??

Yes, I am 58 and so what if I had early menopause (age 39) and so what if I had a long, rough delivery giving birth to our daughter?  My grandmother had prolapse and she ignored it. Truthfully though, I was not going to be able to live with it. I was miserable.

What were my options?

I could use a pessary which acts like a diaphragm to hold the uterus in place, have repair surgery, or have a hysterectomy.

Fix it or remove it and forget it or deal with the place holder?

I was sent to an expert and she asked me the same question.  I asked her to fix it.

Then the she dropped the bladder bomb.

She told me that a high percentage of women who don’t leak when they cough before hysterectomy, will have this problem later.  She proposed to do the bladder sling surgery at the same time.

So be it; a partial hysterectomy, vaginal wall repair and a bladder sling

Well, it’s been 10 days since my operation, and I’m feeling pretty good so far with little pain.

I must succumb to strict restrictions.  No picking up anything heavier than 3 pounds for 6 weeks followed by a lifetime of not working like a man.

I guess we all have our limits.

The pups understand that there is no lap time with Mommy for a while. They are so patient with the patient!!

boxers

 

Ellen’s Video: A Mother and Son Production

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Three cheers for sons!

And a thousand cheers for a cool son who helps his mom, Ellen Dolgen, spread honest and up-to-date information about perimenopause and menopause.

Jack Dolgen produced Ellen’s video, a spoof that tells the truth!

Ellen explains: “I teamed up with well-known comedic writer and talent, Rachel Bloom, along with my wonderful son, songwriter and producer, Jack, to make this hilarious video educating the sisterhood on perimenopause and menopause!”

“Jack helped me find my voice,” Ellen writes. “He co-authored my book, Shmirshky: The Pursuit of Hormone Happiness, and he and Rachel Bloom created this incredible video for me!”

Ellen Dolgen and Jack

Thanks Jack!

Ellen Dolgen is an outspoken women’s health and wellness advocate, menopause awareness expert, author, and speaker.

After struggling through the silence that surrounds menopause, Ellen resolved to help women reach out and end the confusion, embarrassment, and less-than-lovely symptoms that come with “the change.” Her passion to be a “sister” to all women fueled Ellen’s book, Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness.

As a result of her women’s wellness journey, and in response to the overwhelming thirst of her ever-expanding audience for empowering information, Ellen’s weekly blog, Menopause MondaysTM was born.