Life, Menopause

The Pink Postcard! Rational Emotive Therapy

My mom’s friend, Dr. Rolf Muuss, a psychologist, keeps this postcard on his desk. Translated from German, his native language, the card says:

A bad mood is a mistake in thinking.

Rolf, who was a professor for many years at Goucher College in Baltimore and lectured worldwide, taught me, on a recent visit to my mom’s retirement center, about Rational Emotive Therapy.

Stated simply, this is the idea that we can replace negative and sometimes irrational thoughts with more positive, rational ones.

Rolf will tell you that the idea of changing our thinking goes back to the ancient philosophers. Years ago, he began collecting quotes across the ages. He can recite them for you, in his wonderful German accent, if you stop in to pay him a visit.

But until then, I’ll post some lines from his collection here:

With our thoughts we make the world.

Buddha

The art of living wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

William James

We cannot forbid thoughts to fly in and out of our heads like birds. However, it is entirely up to us whether we allow them to build their nests there.

Martin Luther

Do not worry about the past, because you will spend the rest of your life in the future.

German Proverb

Man is not what circumstances make of him, but what he makes of the circumstances that make him.

John Paul Sartre

Not what we experience, but how we perceive what we experience determines our fate.

Maria von Ebner Eschenbach

So the next time your mind starts spinning negative, upsetting thoughts,  especially when the Great Pause is sending you into hormonal havoc, see what you can do to flip those thoughts into positive ones.

For in the words of the professor’s bright pink postcard:

A bad mood is a mistake in thinking.

Life, Menopause

If Measure I Must…

A poem, written by me, inspired by my old measuring cup:

It’s the measuring cup’s job

To measure, not mine,

But if measure I must,

May it be with a

Good measure of love.

I find there’s a laidbackness (sorry for a word that’s not all the way a word) that comes, in some ways, with menopause.

As I grow older, I’m becoming less judgmental.

Perhaps because I’m more aware of my own failings.

Or perhaps because time is picking up speed, making me want to spend less time picking at people.

Or maybe it’s because as we age, we are better able to see life from other angles.

Lots of angles, because part of humanity’s great charm (at least some of the time) is the diversity of opinions, personalities, and lifestyles.

What about you?  Do you find yourself more or less judgmental than you were in your youth?

Photo: The measuring cup above has a hard time in my kitchen. The shiny, newer measuring cups poke fun. I hope they will work on measuring with cupfulls of love. The cup is perched on an old apron, circa 1940.

Winners!  Congrats to Lisa and Carol, who are the Replens giveaway winners!