Menopause

Going Grey: The Kitty Doesn’t Need Blue Shampoo! Why Should I?


KITTY

A post by blogger and landscape architect Amelia Grant:

I have a fluffy white cat. Long hair, heirloom cat, this cat belonged first to my parents and then to my brother, all have passed on – yet the cat is still around.

My parents got the cat the year before my father passed on, and she was my mother’s best friend until she died; then my brother adopted the cat and he passed on.

A friend suggested maybe I did not want this cat due to her track record with owners. Me being me, I just couldn’t give her away; she meant a lot to all of them. I have two additional siblings, both have cats and I was the only one who would take her. I was very hopeful my greyhounds wouldn’t eat her (they haven’t.

There is a common trait in my family, premature grey hair.

I have no recollection of my father having hair with color. He had a lot of hair. Just no color, totally white, always.

I began to realize I was there when I couldn’t tell if the hair on the floor came from me or the cat. And, the thing is, it was his cat. Ouch.

This engendered some deep thinking.

What is it about grey hair?

I am not one to think of metaphorical things, but I think the issue with grey hair is its symbolism of senescence. Like leaves changing colors in autumn before they fall to the ground.

It takes some guts to leave your grey hair in its natural state. I always think that when I see a woman with a great head of grey hair.

For many years I have glazed my hair, it ends up taupe. I actually like the taupe hair. Since I moved to a small town I have been unable to find anyone who knows how to glaze hair.

The only professional hair coloring here is done with permanent dye and I am not willing to go there. We have extremely high iron content well water in the area that affects hair colorants and I have seen more than one lady with black hair and orange roots, reminiscent of Halloween and not in a good way.

Recently, men have begun to compliment my hair color. Or lack thereof. It feels similar to getting 5 Likes on your blog or Facebook page.

A guy actually said to me, “I think your salt and pepper hair is sexy.”

Another one said “I really like your hair color.”

Whoa! This happened at two holiday parties, so there was alcohol involved, and I think that enhances the likelihood of an honest opinion?!

When I hear this from women it usually goes, “I wish my hair had turned grey liked yours did, mine is such an awful color I had to dye it?!”

Yeah, right. I have a hard time buying into this, as the color of your hair tends to mark you by age group. Old and not old. Women for the most part prefer the not old appearance.

My first encounter with this was, at age 43, I was asked by a supermarket checker it I wanted the Senior Discount. I said ,“Sure. How old do I have to be?”

She said “60” and I said, “I will be 60 in 17 years, thanks for asking”…and yes, my hair had some pretty serious salt in it by then. My husband is 14 years older and nobody was asking him this question. His hair is still mostly brown.

About twenty-five years ago, a client of mine made the comment I was “seasoned,” meaning I had enough work experience to know what I was doing.

In retrospect, I am not sure that was really true.

Then it occurred to me if I was seasoned twenty-five years ago, by now I was a fine barrel-aged whiskey. This works for me, some things do improve with age!

In an effort to embrace my inner Single Malt Scotch, I am going to keep the grey hair for a while. 

P.S. My kitty’s name is Sweetie Pie.

Kitty

Amelia Grant is an experienced Landscape Architect/Designer who a few years back left the big city of Atlanta for an idyllic life in a small town in South Florida. The ensuing experiences led to a blog and new found pleasure in writing and sharing information online.

Amelia’s  blog, The Shrub Queen, may be found at theshrubqueen.wordpress.com.

For a contrasting opinion, check out Gail Crane’s post, To Be or Not to Be–Grey Hair, That Is.

 

Aging, Fashion

Guest Post: To Be or Not To Be–Grey Hair, That Is

young-skunk-closeup

A guest post by my friend Gail Crane:

When I was in high school, my friends always commented on the grey hairs I already had.  Not many, but just enough for people to notice.

In my early 30’s, my Mom commented that I needed to dye my hair as I had too much grey for someone my age.

So I began the every 5 week task of dying my hair.

At first I had it done by my hairdresser when I would get my hair cut, but finally I decided it was too expensive and my stylist told me how to do it myself.

So for 30 years I’ve covered up the increasingly grey, or rather, white hair on my head.  At first I colored all my hair at 5 weeks.

Then as I got whiter and whiter, I had to also put color on at 2 ½ weeks–but only on my part, around my face and at my neck.  Otherwise I started looking like a skunk!

I have played with different colors.  My original hair color was dark brown.  I’ve been dark brown, light brown, reddish brown, and that brassy blondish brown that happens from putting color on your whole head each time instead of just the roots.  Now I mix two together to get the color I want.

It really doesn’t take that long to color my hair, but every time, I dread the process:

Covering up the counter top,  spreading towels on the floor, and putting on old clothes with a towel pinned around my neck to keep any color drips off of my clothes, skin and especially the floor.

No matter how hard I try though, I still seem to drip some of the mixture (which starts out white so you can’t see it) onto something.  Then voila!  You have a black spot on your floor which is unable to be removed.

We’re waiting until I finally decide to go grey to get new flooring in our bathroom.  No reason to do it yet.

I often toy with going grey. I see many women with beautiful white hair and wonder how I would look.

My sister, who used the same color as I did for years, said she was going to stop coloring her hair when she retired.  And she did, going through looking like a skunk to get to her pure white hair.  She likes it except for the pink scalp that shows now.

Sometimes when I start seeing those white roots appear, I think it would be nice to not have to bother with the messy coloring process.

Sometimes I wish I had never started coloring my hair in the first place.

But for some reason, I just am not ready to be grey.  Will it make me look old?  Make me feel older?

I don’t think I’m ready to go there yet.

Maybe, just maybe, when I retire in four years.

But maybe not!

Gail at Reunion

Gail Crane is a long time friend of  mine. She lives in Hillsborough, NC with her husband Joe and her two cats.  She says she’s a little more vain than she wishes she were, but even though she admits to being officially old, she’s just not ready to look it!  Her two grown children don’t want her to go there yet either.

Decided to go grey?  I’d love a post about your decision. Shoot me an email!  Thanks!