Tag Archives: Match.com

Dating in My Fifties Part Three: A Happy Ending!

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wedding party

A post by my friend Kathy D’Ambrosia

If you have been a loyal reader of Barbara’s wonderful Friend for the Ride blog for at least a year and a half, then you may have read two earlier posts I wrote for her regarding the perils and pitfalls of online dating.

My first post (Oct. 19, 2013) mentioned the criteria I used in choosing men to date once I became single again after a long marriage. I also described what I thought was the “fatal flaw” in each man I dated.

My second post (Oct. 21, 2013) recounted my interesting encounter with “Nick the Scammer.”

After my experience with Nick, I took a brief hiatus from match.com. However, my adventurous spirit soon resurfaced, and I decided to plunge into the online dating jungle once again.

Michael, who claimed to live thirty minutes from me, emailed me via match.com in late Feb. 2014. When I replied to his email a few weeks later, he had just arrived in Australia on business. I thought, “Oh, no, not this again!!” (Nick the Scammer was supposedly posing in front of the Opera House in Sydney, Australia in the picture that accompanies my second post). What a coincidence! So I grilled Michael with questions only a local could answer. He answered all of them correctly; he was legitimate.

Michael and I emailed back and forth on a daily basis (long emails, like those a pen pal would write), for the two weeks he was in Australia. After he returned to the States, we had our first date on April 7, 2014 at my favorite Thai restaurant.

michael & me 4-7-14 001

The date was awesome, and the rest is history…..

We were married on April 18, 2015. Michael’s 16 year old son was his best man, and my 23 and 25 year old sons walked me down the aisle.

walking down aisle

It was a simple, but wonderful church wedding, followed by a fabulous honeymoon in New Orleans. Now we live in his house in the country, and I am very happy and content.

Here’s my advice to any single woman: online dating is a great way to meet men; just be careful, be smart, and keep your wits about you at all times. Don’t get discouraged….I persevered, and now I’m happily married!

us by trees

Kathy D’Ambrosia lives in Burgaw, NC and has two grown sons, one in Raleigh, NC and one in Tampa, FL. She sells printing and works part time as an innkeeper on Bald Head Island, NC on weekdays, while her husband, Michael, travels on business. She also continues to use her master’s degree in gerontology by serving as a consultant to a non-profit Aging in Place organization.

Part Two: It’s a Jungle Out There–Dating in My Fifties

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Nick water

A post by my friend Kathy Cox:

In my first post, I mentioned the craziness of internet dating, and ended by giving a brief description of Nick (pictured above), a 52 year old man who recently emailed me expressing great interest in getting to know me better.

Nick’s online profile listed Wilmington, NC as his hometown, which is where I live.

However, in his second email to me, he mentioned flying from Wilmington home to California. I questioned him on it. He explained that he had never tried online dating before, and while on a recent business trip to Wilmington, he met a friend and business associate who suggested he look online to find the woman of his dreams. The friend helped Nick create his profile, and listed Wilmington as his hometown.

When I still objected to the distance between us, Nick explained that he travels on business and he could fly to meet me, once we got to know each other better through emails and phone calls. Since I just experienced a difficult break-up with a guy I really cared for (he had mental issues), I decided it wouldn’t hurt to email and talk with someone new for a while before meeting him.

Before we talked on the phone, Nick told me he had lived in Greece all his life until moving to California seven years ago, and begged me not to laugh at his accent when I heard him speak. He certainly did have an accent!

Nick also told me his first wife was Asian, and she died of cancer five years ago, leaving him with two fairly young children, a girl age 10 and a boy age 12. I was surprised at the young ages of his children! He emailed me several pictures:  of him, of his children, and of him with his children.

Nick was always very complimentary, telling me how beautiful I was and how he loved hearing my “tender and lovely voice.” LOL!

He would call, email or text me every day, and began describing how he was falling in love with me, calling me “darling” almost constantly.  He said, “after we fall in love, I will fly to meet you.” Then he started asking me if I loved him. Of course I didn’t, because I hadn’t even met him, but I said, “yes” because I wanted to meet him.

One day Nick told me he was awarded a bid worth two million dollars to furnish a hotel chain in England with art and sculptures, and he had to fly to London to purchase the items to fulfill the contract.

Next he called me from London and said he couldn’t purchase what he needed and had to fly to Malaysia to buy Asian art and sculptures. We spoke while he was in Malaysia, and he gave me a sim card number so I could call him (very briefly!).

A little more than a month from the day he sent the first email to me, Nick called me very early in the morning. He was still in Malaysia, calling from a shipping company where he was arranging to ship the art and sculptures to London. He said there was a problem with his credit card, and HE ASKED ME FOR MONEY!!

I immediately realized “Nick” was a scammer. I told him several times I couldn’t send him any money; then he got mad and said I was wicked! I hung up on him, and that was the end of “Nick.”

I am sure that the man I talked to is not the man in the pictures. In retrospect, I’m mortified that I fell for his lies, but he was quite convincing.

Thankfully I viewed the entire “relationship” as humorous, although many women send money to these scammers and refuse to believe they are being scammed.  So ladies, be careful when engaging in online dating!!

Kathy Headshot copy

Kathy Cox lives in Wilmington, NC and has two grown sons living in Raleigh, NC. She recently received her master’s degree in gerontology and is doing consulting work with a non-profit Aging in Place organization.  She also sells printing and works as an innkeeper on Bald Head Island, NC.

Part One: It’s a Jungle Out There–Dating in My Fifties

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A post by my friend Kathy Cox:

My name is Kathy. I’m 54 years old and I have been single for the last six years. I didn’t quite make it to that 25th silver anniversary, but I did survive married life for 24 years.

I was quite unhappy in my marriage; it seemed that the only things my ex and I had in common were two wonderful sons, bills to pay, and a love of gardening. When I reached the ripe old age of 48, I said to myself, “I’m 48 and miserable…..twenty years from now, unless I change something, I will be 68 and miserable.”

So I got divorced. I liked the idea of marriage; I just hadn’t chosen the right person for me. So I optimistically set out to find “Mr. Right.”

In all honesty, this is what I thought to myself, “I look decent, I’m in fairly good shape, I have a basically cheerful personality, so surely my knight in shining armor will ride up on his white horse and sweep me off my feet.”

However, meeting that special someone proved to be a challenge.

I attend a church where the congregation is mostly old people.

I go to a gym where the men seem to be either young, short (I’m 5’10”), or married.

I work as an innkeeper on an island where most guests are couples on a romantic get-away.

Therefore, I decided to try my luck at online dating.

I was a little surprised to find that many men my age are interested in women much younger than me. Idiots! Do they really think they will be able to hang on to a woman in her 30’s when they are in their 50’s?

It also appeared that many men who were interested in me were already in their 60’s. I have no desire to take on a man ten or more years older than me in a brand-new relationship.

In the past six years I dated several men, and I met all but one of them online. My requirements for Mr. Right are: he should be at least 5’10”, intelligent, near my age, gainfully employed, decent looking, have a sense of humor, have some spiritual beliefs, and enjoy outdoor activities.

Unfortunately, although most men I dated met most of my requirements, there was usually some other issue that was a deal-breaker.

The first guy I dated was a smoker.

The next one was a narcissist.

Another one was an alcoholic.

Yet another one was extremely religious.

The most recent one had mental issues.

Then along came Nick.

I “met” Nick online about two months ago. He is 6’1”, 52 years old, attractive (I think), has a master’s degree, has a job as an antiques/art dealer, attends church regularly, and is very interested in me.

Could this finally be Mr. Right?

To be continued…

me at BHI ferry

Kathy Cox lives in Wilmington, NC and has two grown sons (top photo) living in Raleigh, NC. She recently received her master’s degree in gerontology and is doing consulting work with a non-profit Aging in Place organization.  She also sells printing and works as an innkeeper on Bald Head Island, NC.