Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication-A Giveaway

To continue on with the ideas in last week’s post, I am pleased to tell you about Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication by Oren Jay Sofer.

I loved this book, really loved it.

Here’s what the publisher writes:

Say What You Mean is a step-by-step guide for meaningful conversations that bring people together. In this groundbreaking synthesis of mindfulness, somatics, and Nonviolent Communication, Sofer offers simple yet powerful practices for healthier, more effective conversation. The practices are simple yet deep, helping people develop healthy, effective, and satisfying ways of communicating in all walks of life.

The techniques in Say What You Mean will help you to:

  • Feel confident during conversation
  • Stay focused on what really matters in an interaction
  • Listen for the authentic concerns behind what others say
  • Reduce anxiety before and during difficult conversations
  • Find nourishment in day-to-day interactions

Me again: I highlighted passage after passage as I read. But these takeaways are the most important to me:

  • You won’t fix all your communication troubles at once. Just like the fitness program that finally kicks in, it may take many attempts until you figure out how to be a mindful communicator.
  • Learn to work out conflict in a relationship by beginning with the smaller, simpler issues. Once your skills are honed, you can move on to the dicier topics.
  • As soon as you see a downward trend in the conversation, calmly pause it with the sincere promise that you will resume again when ready. If you’re NOT willing to discuss something again, don’t make a false promise.
  • Keep difficult conversations to one topic and one topic only.
  • Use as few words as you can to say clearly and calmly what you mean.

Giveaway: For a chance to win a copy of Say What you Mean, please enter a comment by March 1. U.S. only. Thanks!

Oren Jay Sofer is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. He leads retreats and workshops on mindful communication at meditation centers and educational settings around the United States.
A graduate of the IMS-Spirit Rock Teacher Training Program, he holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University, teaches in the Insight Meditation community, and is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication. Oren creates mindfulness training programs for a number of organizations, including Mindful Schools, Kaiser Permanente, and 10% Happier. He lives in Richmond, California.