Final Update: The Wedding!

I’ve been mulling for a few days…

What can I say about being Mother of the Bride that is

profound

practical

witty

and/or

enlightening?

I’m either in too much of a glow because things went well

or still so worn out from a frenetic week

to bestow wedding-changing MOB wisdom (if I even have any);

therefore, my best advice is this:

You’re the mom,

but she’s the bride.

This is her dream, not yours.

Trust her

when it’s time to select the MOB dress

and her own.

Trust her instincts on the bridesmaids dresses, too, and her shoes with lucky blue bows.

She gets final call on what her nephew sports.

 Up or down with the hair?  The bride knows best.

When it comes to her dad’s bow tie,

the design of the cake,

the added touches to the back of her dress,

the napkin fabric and the menu design,

the paper lanterns to brighten the ceiling and the flowers to grace the tables,

she gets to decide because, after all, isn’t this the daughter who, when it was time to pick a groom, made an excellent choice?

May they have happy days, festive nights, and in time, the pitter patter of energetic little feet.

But don’t tell the bride I mentioned that last pitter patter part.

I promised her I’d trust her instincts on that, too.

Laura and Matt were married on June 1 in the chapel on Bald Head Island off the coast of North Carolina.  Wedding photos courtesy Matron of Honor Katherine Younger and wedding guest and blog reader, Lisa Wolfe.

Wedding Update: Advice for the Back of the Church

Years ago, my girls and I watched a TV show called  A Wedding Story. 

One day, when Kath had a friend over, I heard her announce:  “Listen to my mom during the show. She’s going to pick at everything. She thinks the only good wedding ever was her own.”

Not true!

Well at least not all the way true.

But isn’t it sort of okay for a bride to be partial to her own wedding?

Now it’s Laura’s turn.

I’m resisting giving lots of last minute advice.

And as mother of the bride, I won’t be there at the very last minute anyway.

Hopefully, I’ll be in my seat in the front pew.

However…

My last minute advice would be twofold:

Put your bouquet at your waist and keep it there.

Brides often carry their bouquets too high, covering the bodice of their lovely gown.

(I made this mistake, which proves, once and for all, that my wedding was NOT perfect.)

My other piece of advice is this:

The time at the back of the church is a dad’s moment too.

Remember the cool bike in fourth grade.

The Duke jacket I thought cost too much.

The checking out colleges trips.

The emergency earring repairs.

Right before you start down the aisle, say something sweet to your dad.

If I could sail back to August 20, 1977, that’s just what I would do.

Top Photo:  My dad helping me out of the car at my wedding in Towson, Maryland.

Bottom Photo: The mother of the groom-to-be with her father at the back of the church in Durham, New Hampshire some years ago.  Note that the bride is holding her bouquet correctly!

In some traditions, both parents walk their daughter down the aisle. To those daughters, I say, “Double your chance to say something sweet!”

Wedding Update: Showers and the Sisterhood!

A bride and  her mom.

Presents.

A fun game that gets everyone thinking about marriage and love and weddings and the years ahead.

Flowers in the wedding colors on a table splashed with more color.

Chocolate and berries.

Sandwiches, oh so dainty and ladylike.

Punch, gently spiked.

Cake!

Bridesmaids and sisters-in-law-to be.

And most of all, the good wishes and wise advice of  the sisterhood, women young and old.

The sisterhood comes out in enthusiastic force for showers!

Thanks to my friends Lisa and Judy and Gail, who put on this festive shower for Laura, and to the friends who joined us with gifts and good wishes. I’m sorry we didn’t capture your pictures.

And to the Shower Sisterhood Universal I say, “Cake and punch and advice forever!  Hooray!”

Any shower stories to share?

With thanks to my blogging daughters, Katherine and Laura for letting me use their photos. I can hardly bear to look at that cake. That’s how delicious it was.

Wedding Update: Invitations! (and a Minted Giveaway)

When your daughter is planning her wedding, your thoughts often go back to your own big day.

Holy Matrimony!  Have weddings and wedding products changed since then!

Check out the festive invitations you can find at Minted.com

Thirty-some years ago, non-traditional invitations were just coming into fashion.

But my mom and I stuck to tradition and what we thought was proper:  engraved invitations on cream colored paper.

Years later, they seem oh so boring :

We thought the butterfly stamps made the RSVP envelope look festive. This was as cutting edge as we got:

Nowadays you send out Save the Date cards too.  (A quite practical innovation, especially for a destination wedding.) Laura had a wonderful time designing the one in the top photo  from the selections at Minted.

Although the bride won’t let me show you her actual wedding invitations yet, I can promise you they bear no resemblance to my cream colored invites.

A few days ago, I met another mother of the bride.

It’s always fun to compare notes.

“All I  asked of her,” the mom said, drawing out her wedding words, “is that she use traditional invitations.”

Not me.

I’m rolling with the times.

The more festive the better!

Giveaway:  Minted sells all sorts of colorful and creative paper products from invitations to journals to note cards to party decor. They’re offering one Friend for the Ride reader a fifty dollar credit toward your next order. No other purchases required.

To enter the giveaway, simply post a comment by April 10 saying that you’d like to win. Winner will be chosen at random.

Invitations Below: If I could pick my wedding invitations all over again, here are some I’d consider  from Minted.